Have you ever wondered how one person can juggle so many roles in life, and still manage to maintain their sanity? Meet Tobe Gillogly: a mom, wife, friend, advocate, physical therapist assistant, dance teacher, and educator. Tobe opens up about her journey, revealing the nuances of managing multiple roles and the importance of being interdisciplinary. She discusses her experiences as a community health worker, her zest for new opportunities, and the importance of pausing and processing before plunging headfirst into new ventures.
We can all agree that asking for help is hard, especially when we feel the pressure to always be in control. In the second part of our conversation, Tobe candidly shares her struggles with this, shedding light on the necessity of self-care and being honest about our battles. She illustrates her faith-based approach to life, and how she channels her challenges into advocacy. Tobe's story offers an intimate glimpse into the life of a woman juggling multiple roles while prioritizing self-care, providing listeners with valuable learnings and insights. So, tune in for an episode filled with sincerity, positivity, and encouragement.
Have you ever wondered how one person can juggle so many roles in life, and still manage to maintain their sanity? Meet Tobe Gillogly: a mom, wife, friend, advocate, physical therapist assistant, dance teacher, and educator. Tobe opens up about her journey, revealing the nuances of managing multiple roles and the importance of being interdisciplinary. She discusses her experiences as a community health worker, her zest for new opportunities, and the importance of pausing and processing before plunging headfirst into new ventures.
We can all agree that asking for help is hard, especially when we feel the pressure to always be in control. In the second part of our conversation, Tobe candidly shares her struggles with this, shedding light on the necessity of self-care and being honest about our battles. She illustrates her faith-based approach to life, and how she channels her challenges into advocacy. Tobe's story offers an intimate glimpse into the life of a woman juggling multiple roles while prioritizing self-care, providing listeners with valuable learnings and insights. So, tune in for an episode filled with sincerity, positivity, and encouragement.
Welcome to the Self Care Society podcast with your hosts Celia Williamson, ashley Kutcher, louis Guardiola and Carrie Shaw, a podcast devoted to those whose job it is to help others get or remain mentally, physically and emotionally healthy, but who also need to take care of themselves.
Speaker 2:How we're going to do this? By first showing you the filtered, pretty version of success and then the real struggles, real work and raw grit it took to get there, how they took care of themselves and also achieved their goals while doing it Together.
Speaker 1:we will work with you to improve and maintain your internal health and growth, while helping you achieve your external goals and your next professional achievement in life.
Speaker 2:And we're excited to show you how to follow your own individual and unique path and achieve the dreams you have, while taking good care of yourself. So let's get started. Welcome to Self Care Society. I'm Carrie Shaw and I'm the host of the podcast this weekend, this week. I wish it were the weekend.
Speaker 2:It's not the weekend yet, Carrie, and with me today I have Toby Galogli. Toby is a mom, a wife, a friend, an advocate and so much more, and we're going to get to know a little bit more about Toby today as we talk to her about self care. Welcome to the podcast, Toby.
Speaker 3:Thank you, carrie, so much for giving me this opportunity to chat.
Speaker 2:I'm excited to get to know you better and hear what you have to say about self care. As you know, our first question is usually about who the real person is on the outside. So, r-e-e-l, how do we see Toby from an external perspective? How do people see you?
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I think that's when you asked me about a bio. I first was immediately in my mind of thinking, okay, I need to rattle off the things I've done, because there's this outside well, inside piece of people wanting to prove themselves if it's the right piece or appear competent. I think is one of those pieces that we do. And I backed myself off and said, nope, I'm going to say who the R-E-A-L person is, and that's the wife, the mom and the advocate and sister or daughter and all that good stuff too, but definitely those pieces. So I think the outside person of me has changed incredibly as I look through the years. I kind of feel like I've lived two or three lives and how people might perceive me and it would be interesting to know that. Or maybe not, because you know I always wonder about reading people's minds would be a very dangerous thing, I think. So I have multiple roles on the that I treasure from the inside, but definitely in different hats at different times. So one of them would be physical therapist assistant that works with pediatric clients and their families, and that going into my 21st year of that wonderful role, which means it's definitely a heart and soul role for me. I also, along with that role, I teach dance when I get the opportunity to, and dance is something in the arts theater and all of those fun artsy things are very dear to me and I use that in my treatment with the kids because it's much more fun to dance than it is to exercise. And I'm also an educator and I think we're all educators in different ways. But as a physical therapist assistant I teach. I teach for the PT department here at Ohio University and I also am a clinical instructor for physical therapist assistants when they come into the clinic to help them learn about pediatrics. I haven't had that opportunity recently, but that was one that I've done for several years. I used to teach at Huckin College for the physical therapist assistant program for about 10 years and at the same time I was doing that I was also treating children through a high university therapy associates for OU, and position came about about 10 years ago where I could combine those two efforts in one location. Well, I say one location theoretically in one location still multiple places and so that was a blessing. So I'm not educating at O'Clockham University going into my well, it's my 22nd year overall, my 11th year as a full-time employee, but I still treat kids in the schools when I get the opportunity in the clinic, and then we'll just add that community health worker role right in there as well.
Speaker 3:I decided that I had seemed to have like this 10-year role about wanting to shake things up a little bit and do something different. So you and I had spoken about community health worker and you had this wonderful program going on and I thought you know what I want to do that program. So that's been wonderful. What I enjoyed most about it is there nobody cared what education I had, nobody cared where I came from and I was able to really just work with people and learn about people and network with people as people and people who support people, their communities, and so that was super important to me and it's been a wonderful asset. So those those different hats that I wear I usually wear all of them at the same time in many, many situations.
Speaker 2:You sound like a Dr Seuss character. I know right, you just envision you with all these hats stacked on top of your hat.
Speaker 3:I do feel like they're different colors and different shapes. I think that that piece of being interdisciplinary and having multiple roles is just who I am. I mean, I think back to all the different things I used to do when I was younger too. It's just something that I've always liked. Having different opportunities and, as you and I have discussed multiple times, which leads to an issue with saying no, because when those opportunities come up to do something new or different or an engage in a different way, I want to be right there. Yeah, the other piece about me I think people would probably get pretty quickly.
Speaker 3:As I'm a doer, you know there's something to do on. I want to do it and I want to. Somebody brings something up as an idea. Man, I'm on it, and that's not always good, because sometimes I tend to jump the gun and not really taking everything before. I need to process a little bit better. So in my maturity we'll call it maturity and not aging I learned to try to be a little bit better about that, and I'm still struggling with the saying no or saying maybe not right now. I'm working on it.
Speaker 2:Nice. So from an outside perspective, you are a Dr Seuss character with many, many hats and doing lots of different things all the time, and I know that about you too. And so who are you on the inside? Who's the toby that we don't see as often, maybe?
Speaker 3:I do a really, I think, a fair job of hiding any insecurities and that has been better as I've gotten older. I don't think you'll ever believe this about me, but I used to be fairly quiet. I know that shocks the world. That knows me, and the arts is how I used to kind of feel more comfortable, like on stage. You know, dancing or in theater. Singing was never something I felt confident about and I wouldn't even say I felt confident about dancing and theater, but you could really kind of disappear into characters and disappear into dance and I felt very freeing from that. But I am very, I feel like I definitely have always been that person that feels like they have to prove themselves and I'm my probably worst critic, for sure and so there's that insecurity piece that people I don't think would ever feel like. That's me and that's. I try really hard to hide that.
Speaker 3:But I think as I've gotten older and as an educator and I meet with students and I meet with, I work with non-traditional and traditional students and families, you know there's a time and a place and an appropriate way to show that part of yourself, to let them know that you're human, and then you don't have it all together all the time and there's nothing like I will call them life explosions to make that very real and I do.
Speaker 3:I have a hard time of asking for help.
Speaker 3:I have a very hard time of asking for help because I feel like I should have it all under control. I think that those opportunities that we had in life where people are offering to help or people are there and that's part of the self-care piece, right Is saying, okay, you know what, I can't do this by myself right now, and it would be really great if you would just take a few minutes to listen. Or it would be really great if we could go for a walk or whatever that is you know, or watch a movie together or whatever it is just, and laugh and cry and those kinds of things. It's like I have to give myself permission to do that. I also think part of that is when you have all of that build up for years, whatever that might be that you're bringing in, you're almost afraid to let your defenses down. Trust is a part of it, but it's also a part of once I left Huttown and people see the real me, will they think of me differently, you know yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, do you ever? This is just something that came up maybe from my own personal experience. Is this related at all to like imposter syndrome? Do you ever have imposter syndrome?
Speaker 3:You know it's funny that you brought that up because I was just noticing a webinar came across my email today and I laughed. When I looked at it. I was like, oh, I might know a little bit about that. No, I don't know what the clear definition of that is. I'm definitely not a different person with people. I just think when it comes to those nuances where I feel a little bit vulnerable, I tend to hide those pieces.
Speaker 3:I'm not one to be afraid to ask for help. In terms of when it impacts others, does that make sense? Yes, when I'm working with a patient and I'm like I have no idea what we need to do to make this physical therapy treatment better, I need a set of eyes. I have no problem asking for help when it comes to how it impacts others. I just don't do it well for myself. You know that's really hard for me and I think that's part of the world we live in, what you and I do for a living right. You're a social worker, you're a community health worker, you're all these things, and your mom and your daughter and I'm those things too, and it's like let's keep it together because I need people to perceive that I've got control of this, when the truth is, we really don't have control of anything, and I think admitting that is super important sometimes and I'm not good at saying, look, life is out of control. I've tried to get away from the phrase I'm fine because you know when you pass people and they're like, hey, how are you? And you're lying, there may be a day where you're not fine. So I shocked people lately Today was one of them where I got into being in there.
Speaker 3:We were like I'm just gonna do it. I was like, yeah, feeling like an overwhelmed it mess, and it was just like everybody kind of was like and I think we don't know what to say to that, even though we've all been there, yeah, well, and we're all there at different points, right? I think we need to give ourselves permission to be able to say that and then for people to go I am sorry, what can I do? Or I am sorry, we're not even. I am sorry, but just acknowledge yep, been there, you know just that piece. So I'm trying to get better about that.
Speaker 3:But life has brought different challenges. For sure I've grown. I've tried to grow from them. But it's also those challenges, whether it be relational, I've tried to turn those into pieces where maybe I can advocate for somebody because I know from my experience. Okay, this is what I dealt with, never projecting my experience on someone else, but rather acknowledging hey, we've all been there. How can I help? What do you need to do? Do you need to listen? Do you need to bounce ideas off me? Do you need to scream? Do you need to cry? What do you need to do? And giving people that permission to be able to do that safely, so they don't feel like you're judging them or you are saying, wow, you really have lost it.
Speaker 1:Those kinds of things.
Speaker 3:We all have those moments, right, yeah. But I also keep telling myself when you go through different challenges in your life, it informs the way you deal with other people, and so I that's why trust me the healthy way that I acknowledge those times when I'm like, wow, okay, one more thing. I do have a faith based approach to my life. It is definitely gone through ups and downs and challenges of my faith. When things are really, when I really struggle, that's all part of faith and I think no matter where your faith is or your belief systems are, they're challenged at times, right, that's why we call it faith. So, yeah, I will say that that's definitely at my core and I just keep going, that's. The other thing is I don't have a tendency to stop. That could be healthy or unhealthy, I guess. Yeah, I go through right.
Speaker 2:I've noticed that about you. I know you've been going through some hard things in the past two years and I've just been always surprised that you were there and you're just. I see you as a very strong person. Yeah, like so. Toby, how do you? What is your self care life?
Speaker 3:It's bad. No, I will own that. It is. You know I. You know we have these community health worker panels and I educate the community health worker class and I teach these students and I'm always telling them you got to take care of yourself, you got to take care of yourself. And then, as I hear myself saying that, I'm like, yeah, toby way to go, that's you know. So I think it's complicated and I think self care is different thing to different people. I don't think it has to be some complicated trip or some complicated planning, because that just adds more stress. If you're playing, it does it can't. So I have a really beautiful opportunity where I live to just sit outside and listen and I try to go out during the day when I'm home and take that minute to just shut up, which is hard for me Be quiet and listen.
Speaker 3:And then just look around at how pretty and beautiful the world is and be thankful that I can enjoy that moment. And I think really simple like that for me is a self care moment, and I think it's moments of self care Like, yes, bob day is fantastic, but in reality that's another scheduled event, right, exactly. Often times, if you do take that time, you're like I just feel guilty because I took five minutes to go do something. So I think those moments of self care tend to be a little more impactful. If I had my way, I'd go sit at the beach all day. That would be fantastic. That's my ultimate self care is the beach, because I love to just sit there and listen to the waves and enjoy the sun and that is a calm place for me. But you know we live in Ohio, it's right, I have a lot of beaches.
Speaker 2:And yeah, I was just talking to you a conversation earlier today about how self care can just be those small moments and and you know it sounds, it sounds trite or sounds like artificial, but it's true and it's evidence based that if you take just even a few minutes, it can regulate you and can get you back to to a better place. And for me, I'm always thinking about our neuro pathways and how we're developing those pathways in our brain, and so you know, just the more that we are able to carve out a few minutes here and there, the easier it is to get to that quiet place in our minds. So it's, it's, it's practice.
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah, yeah, it's very mindful and and off. Like I said, I enjoy dance and those moments where I get to share my love of dance and the arts with others. That's also a self-care moment, because it's like I get to share something I love and had the opportunity recently to teach some teams with different abilities dance and incorporate the PT students and it was just, it was so much fun. It was just so much fun and so that was a self-care moment too, because just watching people enjoy moving and not worrying about anything other than just moving was just so therapeutic for everybody. Well, it was for me. I'm hoping it was for them. I think they enjoyed themselves.
Speaker 3:But those moments, too, where you just have that moment of I don't know laughing at the dinner table with your family or being in the car and your 18-year-old son is telling you silly jokes and whatever, and you just laugh, those moments I treasure. Those are the moments we need to really think about mindfully and say, okay, I had that moment. It's small but it means a lot. My dogs, I love my dogs and I know you have one because I see it walking around.
Speaker 2:I'm petting her right now.
Speaker 3:I'm like taking a moment to just pet your pet, you know, squish their little cute fur face or whatever that is. That's a moment we'll not get back and I think that's the piece that I really like working with the children and their families, because there's so many of those moments, even when I'm seeing them For a reason that's not you know, great, I'm trying to help, you know, and there are times when we're really struggling and I think that's something that I try to. I definitely use humor, hopefully appropriately, but I take it to joke when I'm really stressed about stuff, like I make a joke about something because that's my way of coping and hopefully, just making people laugh in a moment appropriately that is a little stressful can sometimes cut through that a little bit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think, Toby. Yeah, you bring a lightness wherever you are. I mean, even when you're not making jokes, you're always sunny and the space that is joyful. Well, thank you.
Speaker 3:You're welcome. That's a huge compliment and I will treasure that because you know I try to do that. You just if you can't laugh at yourself too, like those are the moments that I just if you can't laugh at yourself and really get over it, because it's just not worth being serious all the time.
Speaker 2:So, Toby, do you have any final words for us? I mean, you've shared a lot of stuff.
Speaker 3:Good at talking, huh, I just I don't know. As you alluded to, the last few years have been super hard, and I think it does boil down for me to treasuring those times that we plow through life at 100 miles an hour. Um, taking those times to acknowledge, hey, that was a really good piece of chocolate or that was a really funny joke, or whatever. Taking those times to just acknowledge those small things had that childlike awe again, where kids just see something, the old, you buy them all these gifts and all they care about is the wrapping paper thing. Enjoy those moments and so don't take them for granted, because you honestly don't know when or if you're gonna have another moment like that. And I think those are the pieces that I would bring to mind, because you could do a million things in this world. It really doesn't matter how much you do and how much approval you have.
Speaker 3:What I hope to leave is that people, when they think of my goofyness, it brings a spell to their face, so they think of something silly I said or something goofy I did, or that I was human and that I owned that and hopefully gave them some peace and some comfort in some way. That's the legacy I wanna leave, not a serious, controlled, over-processing person, which is how I feel a lot of the time. So those are the things that I think. What is your legacy? What do you wanna leave people thinking of? When somebody mentioned your date, that's really important to me, and I've been so blessed and so honored to interact with so many different people in so many different ways that that's what I hope that they're left with.
Speaker 2:I love that. Toby, thank you so much. You're welcome. Thank you, yeah, thanks for joining us this week. Once again, this is Toby Galogli and she is here to talk with us. She's spent the time with us talking about all kinds of ways that she just makes the world a sunnier place, and we're so thankful for that. Toby, thanks for joining us everyone. This is Self-Care Society Podcast. Hope you can join us again next week. Remember, it's not selfish, it's self-care. Have a good week. That concludes this week's episode. And remember it's not selfish, it's self-care.