In this episode we tackle the tough "whys" that beckon a deeper look into our professional satisfaction and dare to ask when it might be time to embrace change for a healthier work-life harmony. Transition periods can be as tricky as a high-wire act, especially when the leap is from a less-than-ideal situation. In this candid conversation, we underscore the virtue of professionalism, even when the odds—or the employers—don’t play fair. We discuss living up to our full potential amidst trials and maintaining dignity in the face of adversity. As we unpack these themes, we'll leave you with the resilience and poise to sail through your own professional transitions, ready to rise above and set sail towards new horizons.
In this episode we tackle the tough "whys" that beckon a deeper look into our professional satisfaction and dare to ask when it might be time to embrace change for a healthier work-life harmony. Transition periods can be as tricky as a high-wire act, especially when the leap is from a less-than-ideal situation. In this candid conversation, we underscore the virtue of professionalism, even when the odds—or the employers—don’t play fair. We discuss living up to our full potential amidst trials and maintaining dignity in the face of adversity. As we unpack these themes, we'll leave you with the resilience and poise to sail through your own professional transitions, ready to rise above and set sail towards new horizons.
Welcome to the Self-Care Society podcast with your hosts Celia Williamson, ashley Kuchar, louie Guardiola and Keri Shaw, a podcast devoted to those whose job it is to help others get or remain mentally, physically and emotionally healthy, but who also need to take care of themselves. And how we're going to do this? By first showing you the filtered, pretty version of success, and then the real struggles, real work and raw grit it took to get there, how they took care of themselves and also achieved their goals while doing it Together. We will work with you to improve and maintain your internal health and growth, while helping you achieve your external goals and your next professional achievement in life.
Speaker 2:And we're excited to show you how to follow your own individual and unique path and achieve the dreams you have, while taking good care of yourself. So let's get started. Good morning and welcome to the self-care podcast. My name is Isabel Matosian and I will be your host today. Our theme for this month is Coping Skills 101. So let's talk a bit about what that means and what to do when the time comes where the coping skills aren't helping, because that can happen. Sometimes the coping skills aren't enough and we're forced to make difficult changes and decisions. Today, we're going to specifically focus on topics related to stress and depression in our work and lives. Work has ups and downs, just like life does, and when life gets hard, we turn to the coping skills that work for us. So we try the same thing for work coping skills that work for us, so we try the same thing for work.
Speaker 2:When things get busy, I like to take the first step of making sure that I'm organized, both at work and at home. At work, I make lists and prioritize what needs to be done first. For example, at home, I clear out clutter and make sure my space is organized in order to help my mind stay uncluttered. Sometimes this is the only step I need to take to help me feel like I'm getting back on track, but then there are times when you need to do more, and at those times I do more. I organize my schedule as well, so I can make sure that I'm prioritizing exercise, meal planning and rest. I wash my water bottle out and fill it with ice water, which feels like a reset for getting enough hydration in my day. If that's still enough, no problem. I have more coping mechanisms that I can use. I can journal or reach out to friends and make sure I'm spending time outside. I can make sure I'm getting healthy sleep habits and waking up early and eating a good breakfast.
Speaker 2:Another thing that we do and I feel like this is the last step when work gets busy or hard, at least in my experience is to turn to our support in the workplace. That could be a friend or a manager or HR department. Many people are fortunate to have leadership at work that is understanding and supportive when life gets hard, but not everyone is so lucky. Sometimes the people in charge not necessarily maliciously don't have the capacity or appropriate training and skills to provide the support that their employees need. So when we've tried everything and all of our basic coping skills don't work. What does that mean? Does it mean we're in a big lifetime low, with no hope? Not necessarily. Maybe we're in a depressive episode, but maybe we need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture, the big, scary whys that we like to avoid. Why am I struggling more than usual to get back on track? Why is it so hard to manage my stress? Why do I feel like I'm not getting anywhere in life or in my career? See what I mean. These are big whys.
Speaker 2:According to Forbes magazine, there are several signs that it's time to move on, several signs that bring on these big whys. One is getting the Sunday scaries. Being anxious on Sunday about having to go back to work the next day. It starts before the work week even begins. You sit at home and you dread what's to come During the week. You start showing up late or, when you do get to work, you're counting down the hours until it's time to go home.
Speaker 2:The second is feeling worthless. By this they mean feeling like your work isn't meaningful or your presence isn't beneficial to the company or your organization. It may also feel like the things that inspired you or that you initially enjoyed start to bore you. It may also include feeling like your efforts aren't appreciated and your skills aren't being put to use. The third thing they mentioned is increased irritation or more frequent breakdowns. We all know the normal work week breakdown and the abnormal work breakdown. The abnormal ones feel like they last a little longer and seem to have no cause at all and no end in sight. Number four is feeling like your responsibilities are too simple and the rest of your time you're just trying to stay busy. It'll feel like you've outgrown yourself and your boss or company is in no hurry to raise your status. And the fifth thing that they mention is feeling like you have a growing degree of responsibility that isn't reflected in your salary, your professional development or your vacations. Basically, you're getting more and more work and becoming more and more skilled, but without any of the appreciation that you deserve. It also may feel this way if the company doesn't have the possibility of salary or career growth. Feel this way if the company doesn't have the possibility of salary or career growth, no matter how good you are, for example with grant-funded positions, you may be limited in your growth and opportunities at your current workplace. Lastly, if you find yourself choosing between work and family, when you can't balance between work and personal life, or you constantly have urgent tasks, unplanned business trips or working late, also having to give up your other interests, things like hobbies or sports.
Speaker 2:Fortunately, the big whys resulting from these signs can lead us to something better. They can open our eyes to a bigger issue which may require a more drastic intervention. That is, of course, after they lead us through some major anxiety and stress and potential panic over the future and whatnot. But once we get through it, we decide that it's time to move on. It's time to move on from a relationship that's no longer benefiting you, time to move on from a job that's keeping you frozen in place and time to move on from toxic friendships that you've held on to.
Speaker 2:A bad job can be like a bad relationship. When your needs aren't being met, you know it's time to go. It could be that you're scared to ask for more, or that you feel obligated to stay because you've been there for a long time, or you haven't been there very long and think you just need to give it more time. But then the worst thing happens For your employer, that is, and you realize your worth. You recognize what's happening and finally understand that you deserve more. You deserve better. You're a smart professional who has given everything you could give and you are no longer benefiting from your efforts, nor are they necessarily being recognized. You realize that you are giving hours and hours of your life to something that is causing you harm and keeping you from a healthy work-life balance. That's not fair to you. Whatever the breaking point is, it will be hard and it's going to throw you for a loop, but ultimately those events will lead you to take the big step and move on.
Speaker 2:Moving on can be hard and scary, and for a while things might get worse. You'll have to keep working your dud job while trying to find a new one and managing the stresses that are coming up at work, while trying to maintain some semblance of the self-care skills that you've learned. Take a deep breath You've got this. On the other side is a whole new adventure. It won't all be sunshine and rainbows, don't get me wrong. You'll doubt yourself and question your next steps and run yourself in circles until you can't tell. Up from down. You might think is this really so bad that I have to go through this? Or you'll feel sad because even with all of the bad things, there was some good. When you started the toxic job, you were hopeful and excited for the new opportunity, and for it to turn sour can be really hard. You don't have to lose sight of the good things or the positive experiences when you're moving on. You can bring those with you and learn from the things that were hard. Now you know the signs and what to look for next time to prevent it from getting to such a difficult point. It's true when they say you live and you learn If you do choose to leave.
Speaker 2:The Forbes article also includes five actions to focus on. The first is to personally say goodbye to your boss. Write a letter or an email you need to be remembered better than others Thank them for the useful experience, interesting projects and everything you learned from them. This will elevate your image in the eyes of your former boss and help you to maintain professional connections. The second is saying goodbye to those who were important to you. Like colleagues you'd like to thank, let them be the first to know that you're leaving and be sincere to help generate a long-lasting support group.
Speaker 2:Number three is to remain positive with everyone. Don't speak poorly about your employer or colleagues. Leave in peace if you can say a few nice words about the company and the team to leave a lasting positive memory of you. Four is to put things in order. Resolve work issues before closing the door. Protect your reputation by not leaving your workplace with a mess that others will have to navigate. Prepare a detailed action plan for your colleagues in case something goes wrong after you leave. And lastly, keep in touch, congratulate bosses and colleagues on achievements or birthdays. You never know how you will benefit later if you maintain positive connections, especially when it comes time to call past colleagues to act as references. A first impression matters, but a last impression can also last, so choose positivity as much as you can.
Speaker 2:These five things can be hard, especially while dealing with your own burnout. It can feel like adding to your load, but do it for yourself. Don't walk out and burn the place down behind you like in a super cool action movie. Remember the excitement you had for your job and help the person who comes after you to succeed with as much support as possible. Sometimes we have to move on, but it doesn't have to be a resentful or painful experience. It can be positive and encouraging, and I know that it can't always be that way.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it's the employer or the company that is failing to be professional as you leave your role. Maybe they are not allowing it to be a peaceful transition for you. These cases don't happen often, especially when you maintain your professionalism. But when they do happen, my advice is to let it roll off of you. You're leaving anyway. Stay professional and cordial and let them be the problem Rise above it as well as you're able to, and leave it behind. Before we go, I want to leave you with a quote by Nelson Mandela there is no passion to be found playing small, in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. Thank you all for listening today. Take care. Thank you all for listening today. Take care.