Abby Ament is the mother of four and one grandchild. After being a stay at home mom, she went back to get a degree in nursing. She worked in Minnesota in direct patient care that included addiction, cardiac, and labor and delivery. Abby transitioned into the university/academic setting (teaching) as she moved my family across the country so my husband could take a position in university leadership. After years of caring for her family and following her spouse's career (and pausing or pivoting her own) she found herself single, empty-nesting, and developing her world into one of authenticity and love for herself and others. Abby’s journey of self-discovery and acceptance was found through many modalities, including traditional therapy, meditation, breathwork, yoga/movement, and even plant medicine. She is now back to what she loves! Direct patient care in a large ICU setting.
Abby Ament is the mother of four and one grandchild. After being a stay at home mom, she went back to get a degree in nursing. She worked in Minnesota in direct patient care that included addiction, cardiac, and labor and delivery. Abby transitioned into the university/academic setting (teaching) as she moved my family across the country so my husband could take a position in university leadership. After years of caring for her family and following her spouse's career (and pausing or pivoting her own) she found herself single, empty-nesting, and developing her world into one of authenticity and love for herself and others. Abby’s journey of self-discovery and acceptance was found through many modalities, including traditional therapy, meditation, breathwork, yoga/movement, and even plant medicine. She is now back to what she loves! Direct patient care in a large ICU setting.
Welcome to the Self Care Society podcast with your hosts Celia Williamson, ashley Kutcher, louis Guardiola and Carrie Shaw, a podcast devoted to those whose job it is to help others get or remain mentally, physically and emotionally healthy, but who also need to take care of themselves.
Speaker 2:How we're going to do this? By first showing you the filtered, pretty version of success and then the real struggles, real work and raw grit it took to get there, how they took care of themselves and also achieved their goals while doing it Together.
Speaker 1:we will work with you to improve and maintain your internal health and growth, while helping you achieve your external goals and your next professional achievement in life.
Speaker 2:And we're excited to show you how to follow your own individual and unique path and achieve the dreams you have, while taking good care of yourself. So let's get started. Welcome to this week's episode of the Self Care Society podcast. I'm Carrie Shaw and I'm the host this week, and I am honored to have Abby Amant with me.
Speaker 2:Abby is the mother of four children and one grandchild, and after being a stay at home mom, she went back to get a degree in nursing. She worked in Minnesota in direct patient care that included addiction, cardiac and labor and delivery, and then Abby transitioned into the university or academic, studying teaching and as she moved across the country sort of that her husband can take a position in university leadership. After caring for her family for years and following her spouse's career and pausing or pivoting her own, she found herself single, empty nesting and developing her world into one of authenticity and love for herself and others. Abby's journey of self discovery and acceptance was found through many modalities, including traditional therapy, meditation, breath work, yoga, movement and even plant medicine. She's now back to doing what she loves direct patient care in a large ICU setting.
Speaker 2:Welcome, abby, thank you so much. Thank you, thanks for joining us on this beautiful day. So I'd like to just start out and say is there anything else you'd like for us to know about you, aside from your bio that I just shared? Maybe, who is the R-E-E-L Abby? How does the world see you?
Speaker 3:How does the world see me? That's a great question, certainly a long journey getting here. I had a moment in time when I was about 15 years old where I helped my grandfather through a hospice and cared for him during hospice, and that year I also had my first child, but I was 15. And it just made very clear to me that I needed to be in a healthcare setting and so I feel like it was a calling just to get into healthcare and be a nurse, and I wasn't really familiar with it prior to that, but that year was really pivotal for me. So now people see me as really appreciative a lot of gratitude, pretty, granola crunchy, very passionate, high energy, warm, intuitive, very kind. So and I really appreciate that I have this team of people around me and tribe of people around me that we support and care for each other.
Speaker 2:So that's wonderful. When I think about having a nurse, it seems like you are the kind of person I would want caring for me. Oh, yes, that's very kind, thank you, thank you. So, abby. You said that it's been a long journey to be where you are today. So who's the real Abby? Can you share a little bit about that journey and tell us who you are in the R E A? L sense?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think in the journey through it was really began as like a people pleasing to get through and doing things out of duty for my marriage, for my children, for my family, and there was a bit of a divide between my authentic self and the real me. And so through some of these huge life changing events, like the ending of a long marriage and moving across the country and just self discovery, I've been able to align those things and just have a better understanding of who I am and make sure that, although that I think we're pre-programmed to be people pleasers. But why am I doing it and is it in my best interests and is it in other people's best interests? And am I harming myself by doing it? Am I giving too much, to the point where I'm harming my own self by doing these things? And so now when I give, I give freely, and so that feels even better and I'm able to do that and understand my own limitations and be able to care for myself. Cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that must feel so amazing to be able to say that.
Speaker 3:It's been. You know we're all a work in progress, right, but it's been really a great journey, really has. It's been a long one and it feels light, it feels like I don't have a heavy weight on my shoulders and I'm carrying any longer.
Speaker 2:Wow, wow, that's fantastic. Were there any moments that stand out, that were really transformative for you in this journey or process?
Speaker 3:Well, I think, as I mentioned before, definitely when I was 15, having a child, certainly raising children.
Speaker 3:Another moment was my spouse at the time had been in a large car accident and I thought to myself nothing really lasts forever, nothing is really a for sure thing, and that was a moment for me that stuck out, that told me it was time for me to go back to school, get my degree and start working outside of the home. So for me that was a very large, pivotal moment. Also, I think we find ourselves we do things in the short term because they make us feel good, so maybe having some bad habits, and so what I found myself doing is not sleeping, maybe having an extra glass of wine in the evening, doing some things that maybe don't align and don't make me feel better the next day. And after doing that and having a little bit of self-awareness about that, um, it was time for a change, it was time to be able to change and do something about that. So certainly, sleep hygiene was like the number one first step, that maybe some therapy.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, yeah, those are two very good first steps. Sleep hygiene therapy yeah, I'm sorry, my dog is barking in the background. So I like to ask what does self-care look like for you, kind of on a day-to-day basis? I mean, you've touched on some things that you do, but wondering what your practices look like, that's a great question I really concentrate on.
Speaker 3:Like I mentioned, sleeping. It sounds really basic. I don't know that we do it really well in America, maybe everywhere, I'm not sure. I know that through my life I've had its ebben flowed on how much sleep I get, but I would say over the last four years I've really worked on my sleeping habits and making sure and ensuring because it just launches me into the next day with success. So doing everything possible to make sure I can get a good night's sleep.
Speaker 3:Then meditation I came upon meditation, I want to say maybe three or four years ago, and another nurse suggested maybe try meditation. I thought, okay, I'll try that, I'll do anything. I went into it, I'm going to master this, I'm going to figure this out and I'm going to master this. Now it's just a part of my practice. We have this mind that races here and it races there and the meditation was so profoundly grounding and it helped me just be aware of my racing mind and aware of the inner conversation and aware of the weather patterns that are happening inside my body and inside my head. Just having that mental noting of that was a game changer for me. So meditating, actually even to go to sleep, doing meditation when I'm in the car, doing quiet meditation just by myself in the morning. So making sure that I can get that done on a daily basis or a regular basis.
Speaker 3:Eating well sounds kind of funny, but I feel better when I eat well. When I say I eat well, I practice intuitive eating. If I really want something, I eat it. If dessert comes first, it comes first. Sometimes I'm just hungry for protein and sometimes I'm hungry for vegetables, but I know, if I try to, for the most part, eat cleanly and maybe have a bowl of ice cream at the end of it, that's okay too. So monitoring or just being self-aware of how I feel about my eating really helps me get through the day-to-day stressors.
Speaker 3:I mentioned yoga, breath work. Breath work has been a game changer for me and I'm lucky enough to be able to do that even on an online setting, which is helpful because then I feel like it's accessible to anybody and it just kind of resets you and gives you a great launching pad. So I would say, in between that and then, quite honestly, one of the most important pieces that I think is overlooked often is your network of people, your tribe of people and your relationship with them. It's there for you all the time, non-judgmental. You can laugh together, you can cry together, you can get through life together and it's just a wonderful gift that we have to be together.
Speaker 2:I couldn't agree more. How lovely those are some really great, great practices that sound like Abby. Thanks for sharing. My final question is usually what kind of words of wisdom do you have or what have been some revelations that you would like to share with the world and to our listeners about self-care and just about overall wellness?
Speaker 3:So I think for me, self-care is it's a value and it's a lifestyle. It's not another task to do, it's not something else to do on your task list of getting things done and it's not to be added to your busy schedule. Somehow you have to add it to your lifestyle and just make it a value of yours that you have that time to yourself to maybe meditate, to eat well and to get enough sleep. So I think that's my biggest piece because I think, as busy mothers and busy working outside the home and caring for other people in a hospital setting or in direct patient care setting, it's just important that we have it not added to the end of our week and our to-do list, but it's just an everyday experience for us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. It's really integrated into what we do and who we are. Yeah, yeah, thank you so much, abby. Thank you so much, and you are listening to the Self-Care Society podcast. This is my guest this week, abby Amant, who has shared some really rich nuggets about self-care and our journeys in wellness. So we look forward to sharing more next week. And thanks for joining the Self-Care podcast. Remember, it's not selfish, it's self-care. Thanks, abby, thank you. That concludes this week's episode. And remember, it's not selfish, it's self-care.