Embark on a transformative quest with us and uncover the essence of your true identity. This episode is your guide through a seven-step process that peels back the layers of your life, allowing you to reflect on personal experiences, values, and beliefs. We navigate the terrain of self-discovery, teasing out the passions that define you, and learning to let go of limiting beliefs that may be stifling your growth. It's not just a conversation; it's an actionable blueprint for living a life that's in full alignment with who you are at your core.
As we traverse this path to self-awareness, we also celebrate the power of authenticity as the ultimate form of self-care. LaShanna Alfred shares her wisdom on the annual unveiling conference, illuminating the importance of reconciling every part of ourselves, including our imperfections. This session is dedicated to the brave souls seeking a genuine existence, one where your actions mirror your deepest values and beliefs. Join us and be inspired to cast off outdated notions that no longer serve you, and step into a life that's as authentic as the story you wish to write.
Embark on a transformative quest with us and uncover the essence of your true identity. This episode is your guide through a seven-step process that peels back the layers of your life, allowing you to reflect on personal experiences, values, and beliefs. We navigate the terrain of self-discovery, teasing out the passions that define you, and learning to let go of limiting beliefs that may be stifling your growth. It's not just a conversation; it's an actionable blueprint for living a life that's in full alignment with who you are at your core.
As we traverse this path to self-awareness, we also celebrate the power of authenticity as the ultimate form of self-care. LaShanna Alfred shares her wisdom on the annual unveiling conference, illuminating the importance of reconciling every part of ourselves, including our imperfections. This session is dedicated to the brave souls seeking a genuine existence, one where your actions mirror your deepest values and beliefs. Join us and be inspired to cast off outdated notions that no longer serve you, and step into a life that's as authentic as the story you wish to write.
Welcome to the Self Care Society podcast with your hosts Celia Williamson, ashley Kutcher, louis Guardiola and Carrie Shaw, a podcast devoted to those whose job it is to help others get or remain mentally, physically and emotionally healthy, but who also need to take care of themselves. How we're going to do this? By first showing you the filtered, pretty version of success, and then the real struggles, real work and raw grit it took to get there, how they took care of themselves and also achieved their goals while doing it Together. We will work with you to improve and maintain your internal health and growth, while helping you achieve your external goals and your next professional achievement in life. And we're excited to show you how to follow your own individual and unique path and achieve the dreams you have while taking good care of yourself. So let's get started.
Speaker 2:Welcome back everyone to the Self Care Podcast. I am LaShanna Alfred and I have a question for you today, and the question is who are you? Who are you? Let that question really reflect and notice how it resonates with your mind, how your body responds even with that question. And then I want you to make it personal who am I? Who am I? Where do these beliefs come from? Why do I do the things that I do?
Speaker 2:This is a very important question, because a lot of us are walking through this thing called life, trying to figure out who we are, or believing that we're someone that we really are not, not realizing that life experiences, childhood trauma and various things that we've been through throughout our lives has actually shaped how we see not just ourselves but the world around us. And so today, as you reflect on the question, who am I? I really want you to begin to sit back and see okay, why do I do the things that I do? And when you're asking yourself these questions, don't ask it in a more in a judgmental way, but really ask it with more curiosity, more compassion and understanding, so you can begin to see the things that you may be holding onto, that you need to let go some beliefs that you may be holding onto, that you need to let go of, and identity that you may be holding onto that you need to let go of If you're not where you desire to be and you're feeling trapped. You're feeling stuck in a certain place in your life, maybe in finances, in relationships, maybe just mentally trapped. Whatever it is, I believe that we have on the inside of us each of us have on the inside of us what it needs or what it takes for us to live our best life. So I'm going to share with you seven steps to really understanding who we are.
Speaker 2:The first one is self-reflection. I encourage you to take the time to reflect on your experiences, values and beliefs, to gain insight into your identity. You're going to do some self-reflection. This can take place early in the morning, before you get your day started, or maybe in the evening, after everything is done. You want to take time to reflect on your experiences, not just on your experiences this particular day, but your experiences throughout life, your values, the things that you hold true, the beliefs that you have, because I recognize that there were some beliefs that I had that was literally driving my life and kept me on this vicious cycle. It wasn't until I began to identify, block in beliefs and replace them that I began to see my life go in a positive direction.
Speaker 2:So number one is self-reflection. Number two explore interests. Engage in activities that genuinely interest you to discover passions and hobbies that contribute to your sense of self. So I find myself even now. I love participating in group activities. So group exercises, I love that. So I realized that wait, I like being around people where we have a common goal. In this particular group, the common goal is physical health, physical fitness, and so I love and I realize that I can get up early in the morning and go to the gym and work out. So I want you to begin to engage in activities that genuinely interest you, to discover your passions and hobbies that contribute to your sense of self. If you are one who don't like change, I challenge you to do at least one thing this week that's different from what you normally do.
Speaker 2:So if you're a person that does not like group activities, I encourage you to do some type of group yoga, group workout, group cycling, whatever that is just to get out of your comfort zone, because this is the part of us challenging ourselves to experience new and different things, so we can begin to see what our passions are and begin to create new hobbies. So two is explore interests. Three embrace emotions. Understand and accept your emotions, recognizing how they shape your responses and choices. Embrace emotions. I encourage you to really, when you're feeling down, overwhelmed, sad, happy, excited, whatever that is, I want you to really embrace them and understand, really to accept them. Don't judge it. Don't judge the emotion, because a lot of us run from emotions that hurt and we replace it with the angry emotion because that's more controlling or safe. When you're recognizing and understanding your emotions, you want to understand them with some compassion, not with harsh or judgmental self-talk. Recognize how they shape your responses and your choices. The formula that I teach when events happen, we have a belief about the event, this thought about it that triggers our emotions and then those emotions trigger our behavior or our responses. Notice, when you feel hurt or overwhelmed is your response? Is it to isolate? Do you call and need to talk about it in gossip, really not really coming up with any solutions? You just really need to vent. Whatever it is. Don't judge it, just recognize it and embrace the emotion. Learn to accept every aspect of you. Every aspect of us has meaning, even the hurtful, painful, emotional ones. It's like an engine or a check engine light to our soul Whenever we feel uncomfortable, overwhelmed, body aches and all of those things. Pause and just embrace it. Accept the emotion and recognize how it shapes your behaviors, your responses and your choices.
Speaker 2:So number three is embrace emotions. Number four evaluate relationships, access or assess the impact of your relationships on your identity, acknowledging the people who influence and support you. Now, this is very important because a lot of us are thirsting for relationships. We're thirsting to feel connected and valued and seen and appreciated, but oftentimes we find ourselves disappointed, overlooked, maybe feeling invisible, and so I want you to assess the impact of the relationships that you're currently in and see how it shapes your identity. When you're with a certain group, do you find yourself changing up? How you think, how you talk, how you dress, what is that like? What is the influence of this particular relationship on your identity? And acknowledge the people who influence and support you, those who influence you. Do you find yourself trying to be like them or is it a different? You know belief or thought where they encourage you to be the best version of yourself. Look at those that support you. How do they support you? Is this a thought that you have in your mind, maybe an expectation or an image that you placed in your mind, but when you really look at it, they really don't support you. I want you to just assess the impact of the relationships that's in your life and look at it just with curiosity, right, so you can begin to be aware of what's actually impacting your ability to see your true and authentic self. So four is evaluate relationships.
Speaker 2:Five set goals. Define personal and professional goals, helping you understand your aspirations and motivations. Why do we do the things that we do? Do you have a set of goals for your personal life, for your professional life? What does that look like? Have you written them down or are they just in your mind? I encourage you to define personal and professional goals so they can help you understand your aspirations and motivations. I remember when I was younger, I always wore tennis shoes. I always had some type of jogger set on, but I remember I would see women who had high heels and dress suits on and I remember just having that aspiration to get a career where I was able to dress up, have on heels and look nice, not knowing that eventually my career path would put me in a position where I was able to do that. Those are aspirations that I had as a young girl, not realizing what I was going to ultimately do in my life. So I encourage you to define personal and professional goals.
Speaker 2:So number five is set goals. Number six learn from challenges. Reflect on challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth, gaining a deeper understanding of your resilience and strengths. Reflect on challenges. Don't get upset mad. You know, turn around.
Speaker 2:I often do this mindfulness activity with individuals that come into my office and I have them close their eyes and envision themselves on the beach and as they're walking along the beach, the sun is out, the temperature is just right and they see themselves just kind of free and arms outstretched and just walking along this beach. And then, all of a sudden, is this brick wall that I place in front of them, and so they see this brick wall. What I want to know, once this brick wall is blocking them, what do they find themselves doing? Some of them say they find themselves trying to figure out a way around it. Others feel trapped. They're looking at it and they're able to sense how their body's response to it. Others are just looking and they turn away in a sense of hopelessness. And that shared tells me a lot about the individual what happens to them when they are faced with challenges. Sometimes, when we're faced with challenges, we just feel defeated. It's this sense of hopelessness and helplessness.
Speaker 2:And when you're doing this particular challenge, when you're reflecting on challenges and setbacks, I want you to reflect on them as opportunities for growth, gaining a deeper understanding of your resilience and strength. And oftentimes I ask them to, I say make yourself bigger than the wall. Some of them are able to make themselves bigger than the wall and literally step over the wall. Others can not make themselves bigger, even with permission. So I challenge you as you're reflecting on the challenges and setbacks that you've experienced in your life, I encourage you to look at them as an opportunity for growth.
Speaker 2:So number six is learn from challenges, and seven is cultivating authenticity. Cultivate authenticity. Strive to be true to yourself, aligning your actions with your values and beliefs, to foster authenticity in your identity, literally. Pause and begin to self reflect and appreciate every aspect of you. Strive to be true to yourself, aligning your actions with your values and beliefs, to foster authenticity to your identity or in your identity.
Speaker 2:Yearly, I do this conference entitled unveiling. The whole purpose of unveiling is me, Lashana, bringing counseling to the stage, helping individuals see that it's okay to be your authentic self and to be your setbacks, all the challenges, all the weaknesses that come with each and every one of us. It's only then that we're able to seek help. If I'm hiding behind the mask of shame, disappointment, discouragement, it's going to be really hard for me to get the help or seek the help that I need. And I will say, as you, as you reflect on the question who am I? I encourage you to follow these steps, the seven steps to help you really understand and begin to live your true and authentic self. This is the essence of self care and this is what it's all about you taking the time to care for self, you recognizing life experiences, setbacks, challenges that have shaped your identity, and you being brave enough to reject and let go of the beliefs that no longer serve you.
Speaker 1:Thank you for tuning in. That concludes this week's episode. And remember, it's not selfish, it's self care.